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ADVANTAGES OF HAVING SEX
According to a new study, unhappy newly married women have sex for three to four times a month while the happy women have it 11 times a month, International Business Times reported.
After their first two years of marriage or relationship, couples must do more to maintain their initial level of intimacy and excitement, M. Gary Neuman, bestselling author, psychotherapist and lead author of the study, was quoted as saying.
According to Neuman, the lesser frequency of sex among couples is owing to common problems of daily life such as paying bills, kids getting sick and even lack of sleep.
He based his findings on a research experiment that involved 400 women who were considered happy or unhappy.
The aim was to discover the number of times a couple must make love every month to be happy.
"Emotional betrayal through a virtual affair can be even more damaging to a marriage than a physical affair," said Neuman, author of the book titled Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship.
Virtual affair "is a much harder thing to heal in a relationship because the emotions have left the marriage and gone into the hands of someone else," he said.
ON DATE::THINGS MEN WOULD LIKE WOMAN DO
But what about the guys? What do men past a certain age want to see more of on dates? Below, HuffPost Divorce bloggers share what they wish more women would do before, during and after dates.
Take it away, guys.
1. "If we've never met before, make a definite first move to establish whether we’re doing a handshake or hug. Doesn’t matter which, just help ease that awkward first greeting." -- Barry Gold
3. "Don't ask why I'm divorced until at least the third date. I know you want to know about past relationships but on the first date I'm not ready." -- Elliott Katz, author of Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man
4. "Let me hold the door open for you." -- Chad Stone, author of The Love Magnet Rules
5. "If you are a heart surgeon waiting for an urgent text to save someone’s life, by all means, have your phone on the table. Otherwise, please put it away." -- Antonio Sacre
6. "Offer to pay. I have no problem paying for dinner but please at least give us 'the reach.' Make a move for the check a) so the guy can say, 'Please, let me get this!' and b) it proves you are at least interested enough to invest in the evening." -- Craig Tomashoff
7. "Compliment us. I work out and one of the reasons I do so -- outside of staying healthy -- is so women can see that I'm a man who takes care of himself." -- Lee Kronert, author of Mental Cruelty: A Novel for Divorced Men
REASON ON WHY HE MIGHT NOT CALL YOU
Not hearing from a guy when you desperately want to is the worst. With emotions that run from anger, humiliation, confusion, hurt, sadness, frustration and hopelessness, his not calling can have you questioning every little thing, from the jeans he saw you in to ordering too much food to asking yourself, "Was it something I said??"
But have you ever thought that maybe you didn't hear from him because of a factor that has nothing to do with you? I'm not saying it's acceptable for a guy not to call and give an explanation of why he can't/doesn't want to see you again, but the reason you never hear from him might not be personal.
Here are 11 possible reasons he decided not to reach out:
1. He got back together with an ex-girlfriend.
2. He realized he isn't ready to date right now.
3. He feels bad about himself/doesn't like himself/doesn't feel worthy of you.
4. He doesn't think you are interested.
5. He's not over his divorce or last relationship.
6. He lost your contact information. (Highly unlikely but possible).
7. He met someone else.
8. He's a player, asks for phone numbers all the time and never calls anyone.
9. The timing was bad for him, he got really busy at work or started traveling for his job.
10. He's got some baggage that is messing him up when it comes to dating and relationships.
11. He's just not into you.
In numbers 1-10 I probably sound like your girlfriend who is trying to make you feel better by justifying the no callback with every excuse under the sun. But the whole point of this article is to make you realize that if you don't hear from him, you should never take it personally -- even if it is.
A good attitude to have is, "Who cares? It wasn't meant to be and I'm glad I found out how he feels now instead of down the road with time and more feelings invested. It isn't me, it isn't him, it's just not right. When it is right, the guy WILL call me back."
Regarding 11,"He's Just Not That Into You," it is what it is. There was a whole book written and movie made about this statement, the main concepts with which I agree wholeheartedly.
Realize this. When it comes to dating, not every man is going to like you enough to call back. And you aren't going to like every man. That's completely OK. Why would you be interested in someone who isn't interested in you anyhow? You wouldn't be. So pick yourself up off the ground, roll him off of you like lint with a lint roller and move on. The guy who you thought was amazing and sexy and sweet and perfect for you -- the same guy you never heard from again -- A. isn't the only guy on earth, B. Missed out big time, C. Made you available for Mr. Right.
Jackie Pilossoph is the author of her blog, Divorced Girl Smiling, and the comedic divorce novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase. She also writes feature stories, along with the weekly dating and relationships column, Love Essentially" for Chicago Tribune Media Group local publications. Pilossoph lives in Chicago. Oh, and she's divorced.
DONT EVER SAY THIS IN YOUR FIRST DATE must read
1. "I've been going through a lot lately."
It's great to be open and transparent about your life but don't go overboard. That means no Debbie Downer discussion of your depressing job prospects or how long you've been single. Keep the conversation light, said Brenda Della Casa, the author of Cinderella Was a Liar: The Real Reason You Can't Find (or Keep) a Prince. This is a date, not a therapy session.
"Keep negative comments to a minimum," she said. "Misery might love company, but your company will think you're miserable to be around if you're spending a high percentage of time chatting about what's wrong in your life. We all have reasons to be unhappy, but show that you can acknowledge the bright side too."
2. "My ex is such a jerk."
It doesn't matter how blissful life has been since the divorce -- or how thrilled you are to finally be free of your ex. Negative remarks about your ex ultimately reflect poorly on you, said Damona Hoffman, a dating expert and author of Spin Your Web: How to Brand Yourself for Successful Online Dating.
"Ranting about your ex will make it seem like you're still tied to the past," she said. "Plus, your date will think that if things don’t work out, their name will be the next one raked over the coals on your future dates."
3. "Damn, you look hot."
Know this: A little bit of flirting goes a long way. Keep your compliments classy, said Della Casa.
"Highly sexed comments may seem like casual banter, but there's something to be said for maintaining a little mystery here," she said. "I've seen too many men and women ruin a good opportunity by 'going there' too soon. It sounds a bit old-school and dated, but it's a reality for many."
4. "My kids are my everything."
Past a certain age, there's nothing sexier than a man or woman who steps up to the plate and parents well (here's looking at you, Louis C.K.) But by the end of the night, your date needs to know more about you than the kids, Hoffman said.
"Good parents always protect their kids and put the children’s needs first but your date is trying to see him or herself in your life and picture you as a romantic partner," she said. "Immediately putting your kids in between the two of you doesn’t leave much room for the romance to blossom."
5. "I'm 45...just kidding, I'm 55."
On a first date, don't lie or tell half truths about your personal life, said Marcia Sirota, a Toronto-based psychiatrist and author of Women Decoded: The Secret Strategy for Relationship Success. In other words, don't say you're an empty nester if your youngest basically lives at home -- and don't claim you own a home in Vegas if it's really just a timeshare. All of that might make you sound like a catch at dinner but your date is bound to discover the truth eventually, Sirota said.
"You’re starting a new relationship with a lie and it will be almost impossible to come back from this," she said. "Your date will never be able to trust you and will always wonder what else you might be lying about."
6. "How much do you make?"
Whether you're bragging about a raise or singing the "I have student debt" blues, financial discussions are a no-no on a first date, said Della Casa.
"No one needs to know how much money you make, how much debt you have
or how you spend your money," she said. "It's also very rude to ask."
When you've met online, there's no question you can ask that's more awkward than this one, said Laurie Davis, the founder of the dating service eFlirt and author of Love At First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating.
"Reminding each other that other dating options exist forces you both to pull focus from the person sitting in front of you," she said. "The sole purpose of a date is to see if the two of you hit it off and introducing the idea of other matches into the conversation confuses that dynamic. Focus on the present."
WHAT SHOULD MUCH CONSIDER IN FIRST DATE
Why are so many divorced women and men so down on first dates? Well, we've all experienced dates that were disappointing and maybe even agonizing. We've gotten all primped up to look our best, only to sit on the other side of a table from a complete slob. Single women, in particular, have had their hopes dashed by an eligible single man who looked great on match.com but couldn't carry on a decent conversation if his life depended on it.
So what's the answer? I'll tell you what NOT to do: don't give up on dating altogether just because you've had your share of crummy first dates.
If you want to have better dates, start by doing a better job of screening your potential first dates. If a person's online dating profile or early phone calls reveal any red flags (including no job, no sense of humor, heavy relationship baggage, etc.), maybe you should respectfully decline a first date with that person. If you're already having doubts, maybe your intuition is trying to tell you something.
Once a potential new date has passed your initial screening process, there are ways to increase your odds of having a great first date. One of the easiest ways to start a great first date is this: be the first to arrive. If you're the first one there, you give yourself a chance to get comfortable in the surroundings. Psychologically, you now "own" the space, and your date will be visiting you on your own turf. That means you will naturally be more comfortable and less anxious.
While you're waiting for your date to arrive, check your phone for messages and see if anything interesting is happening on Facebook. Do some normal things so you're not even thinking about the date. Then, when your date arrives, turn your phone off and put it away. During the date, your focus needs to be completely on this new person who might become your next lover. Give him (or her) a chance to impress you. Try to connect with them. It's the least you can do.
Once you've greeted your date with a smile and perhaps a hug, take a deep breath and relax. More first dates are ruined by nerves than anything else. If you're not enjoying yourself, neither is he. And if he isn't having a good time, you will never hear from him again.
Now it's time for you to be charming. Back when I was single and looking for a relationship, I discovered what I call The Talk Show Principle. I realized that if I pretended I was on a talk show, my first and second dates went way better than if I was in my normal, "hanging out" mode. If you watch Jimmy Fallon or Steven Colbert, you'll notice that the guests tell stories. "Here's what happened to me the other day at the bagel shop" or "You won't believe what my coworker did in a meeting yesterday." A lighthearted story brings out the humanness in us all, and it's something everyone can relate to.
Remember to cut your date a little slack. Some people (maybe even you) aren't instantly comfortable and charming when meeting someone new. If there's any kind of spark at all, give it a chance to grow brighter. Also remember that most people don't fall in love on a first date. Magic happens, but sometimes you've got to give it a chance to work its, well ..., magic.
The most important thing of all during a first date is this: have fun. Dating is supposed to be fun. If it's not fun, you're not doing it right. And seriously, if dating isn't fun for you, it's probably time to take a little break from it. Hang out with your friends. Go see a few movies. Come back to dating after you believe that every first date could be your last first date.
Chad Stone is the author of The Love Magnet Rules: 101 Tips for Meeting, Dating and Keeping a New Love. He blogs at www.ChadStone.us.
HOW BAD BEHAVIORS AFFECTS LOVE
Both of my parents were selfless, self-sacrificing, and devoted to making each other happy. But no matter how much they gave of themselves, no matter how hard they tried to please each other, neither of them was happy. So,
No matter how much another person loves you, if you don’t love and care for yourself, you will not be happy. If you ignore your own feelings, or judge yourself harshly, or turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms to avoid experiencing and dealing with pain or discomfort, you are abandoning yourself. The hard truth is that self-abandonment will always make you unhappy, no matter how many people love you.
When you reject yourself by avoiding responsibility for your feelings, even if you don’t realize it, you start expecting your partner to give you what you are not giving to yourself. The more you abandon yourself, the more you try to manipulate your partner into giving you the love that you are not giving to yourself.
The more you try to control your partner with anger, blame, withdrawal, compliance or resistance the more your partner also tries to control you. Love vanishes in the face of all this controlling behavior.
This is what I saw happening with my parents and what I continue to see in the relationships of the many couples I work with as a counselor.
The more you abandon yourself, the emptier you feel within. You don't have love to share with your partner because you feel empty inside. Instead of being able to share your love with your partner, you are trying to get love to fill the vacuum.
If you want to change this pattern, it’s crucial that you internalize and act on the belief that self-love is not selfish. Abandoning yourself and expecting others to sacrifice their needs in order to replenish you, regardless of the consequences, is selfish.
Loving yourself is about learning to value who you really are your true soul self, your beautiful inner child and treating these parts of you with the same caring and respect with which you would treat an actual child.
NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS THAT AFFECT SEX LIFE IN RELATIONSHIP
Here are some reasons that your sex life may be lacking…
1. You try and control each other with anger and blame.
What do you do when you feel hurt, scared, rejected or when you don't get your way? Do you get angry and blame your partner for your feelings? Do you try to control your partner to get him or her to change? Sexuality flourishes when partners feel loved and supported. Blame is not the answer to avoid conflict and it certainly does not make your partner feel loved.
2. You give yourself up to avoid conflict.
If your partner gets angry and blames you for something, do you give up on communicating and go along with what your partner wants just to avoid the conflict? How do you feel inside when you give yourself up? I have found that when we give ourselves up, we eventually tend to feel resentful and perhaps even numb inside. When we don't take care of ourselves and our needs during conflict, we are not making space for passion and desire.
3. You try to get control by resisting.
If your partner tries to control you, do you withdraw your love in order not to be controlled? Do you go into resistance-mode to punish your partner, by not giving him or her anything he or she wants – including sex? Making this a pattern will not help your sex life going forward.
4. You're needy.
All that said, using sex as a form of validation can quickly squash passion. If your partner comes to you like a needy child in search of validation, how do you feel? Most likely, you'll feel pulled into the dynamic of neediness, obligated to make sure that your partner feels okay. Then, your partner will most likely feel the same way if you come to him or her in a state of neediness. There is nothing erotic about neediness.
5. You engage in power struggles.
All of these unproductive and unhealthy patterns lead to underlying power struggles, which also squash passion. While some people seem to get sexually excited by fights, many are turned off by them. Power struggles occur when partners try to control each other and resist being controlled in the ways described above.
6. You don't prioritize emotional intimacy.
For many people, emotional intimacy and connection are essential for them to feel turned on. When you are both trying to control each other and not be controlled, and when you are fighting or are distant and disconnected, there is no emotional intimacy.
The connection you felt at the beginning of your relationship cannot survive when your intent is to control, to protect, to avoid, rather than to learn about loving yourself and sharing your love with each other.
7. You don't spend enough time together.
Since good sex generally requires emotional connection, this cannot happen if you both get too busy to connect. When people begin dating, they set time aside to be together. But once couples settle into a routine either by living together or getting married they often forget about scheduling intentional time to spend together.
While some people might be able to work all day, take care of kids, watch TV and then get into bed and feel like making love, many people can't do that. They are either too tired or feel too emotionally distant to get turned on. So take out your calendars and make some plans to spend time with your partner! A date goes a long way…
8. You have different libidos.
Some people have a high sex drive and others don't – often due to the amount of testosterone in their bodies. Men often have a higher sex drive than women, but I've worked with many women who have a higher sex drive then their man, or than their same-sex partner.
When partners are open and caring about themselves and each other, they can find a loving way to manage this, but if their intent is to control each other in the unhealthy dynamics I describe above, then it can create many problems for them.
All of these issues can be healed when love has a higher priority than control. When you learn to love yourself and share your love with your partner, then you will find a loving way of being together. This is what creates and maintains a passionate sex life throughout your relationship.
NEW AMAZING SEX POSITION SHOULD LEARN
1. FLATIRON
Jinsi Ya Kujipanga
Mwanamke alale kitandani uso
ukiangalia chini makalio yaangalie juu, asisahau kubinua nyonga/makalio
juu kidogo(kama mvivu kidogo aweke mto(pillow) chini ya
kinena),kujibinua kwake kutaongeza raha na utamu zaidi
Faida Za Hii Style
Mwanamke anapata nafasi ya kuenjoy
Raha na Utamu akiwa amerelax,na kwakuwa miili inakuwa imebanana
sana,mashine ya mwanaume itaonekana kubwa kidogo
Maujanja Ya Ziada
Mwanaume awe anapump taratibu kwa juu sio lazima sana aingie deep,akumbuke kuhema vizuri asije akachoka haraka
FLATIRON How?
You lie face down on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised.
Benefit
This position creates a snug fit. Your guy’s stuff will seem even larger.
Bonus
Some shallow thrusts and deep breathing will help hi
2.G-WHIZ
Jinsi Ya Kujipanga.
Mwanamke alale chali(uso,matiti na
kila kitu viangalie juu),kisha Mwanaume apige magoti mbele yake,baada ya
hapo,mwanamke aweke miguu yake kwenye mabega ya mwanaume(kama
inavyoonekana kwenye picha),unaweza kuweka mto(pillow) chini ya makalio
ya mwanamke awe more comfortable and relaxed.
Faida za Hii Style
Mwanamke akiweka miguu juu ya mabega
ya mwanaume wakati wa kupeana Raha na Utamu,kuna faida mbili mtaenjoy,ya
Kwanza, mashine ya mwanamme na uke wa mwanamke zote zinakuwa katika
level sawa,hii inasaidia mashine ya mwanaume kuisugua vizuri G-spot,na
Pili Uke wa mwanamke unajibana kidogo,ikijibana inaongezeka kuwa
tight,na kufanya starehe ya tendo kuzidi
Maujanja Zaidi.
Mwanaume inabidi ashikilie makalio ya mwanamke,akipump kuelekea juu ili aweze kuilenga vizuri G-spot
G-Whiz
How?
You lie back with your legs resting on each of his shoulders.
Benefit.
When you raise your legs, it narrows the vagina and helps target your G-spot.
Bonus
Ask him to start rocking you in a
side-to-side or up-and-down motion. That should bring his penis into
direct contact with your G-spot.
m last longer.
Jinsi Ya Kujipanga.
Mwanaume akae juu ya kiti au pembeni
ya kitanda(kama inavyoonekana hapo kwenye picha juu),mwanamke aje akae
juu yake(kama inavyoonyesha kwenye picha hapo juu).
Faida Za Hii Style
Mwanamke anakuwa ana uwezo wa
kucontrol kila kitu, spidi itakayotumika na mashine iingie ndani ya uke
kiasi gani na pia ni style nzuri kwa wale ambao wanapenda kupeana Raha
na Utamu kwa Spidi kubwa, mwanamke hawezi kuchoka haraka kwa kuwa
anapata balance na support ya kutosha.
Maujanja Zaidi.
haina ulazima wala haja ya kuongea
sana,vidole na mikono yako ndo vinatakiwa viwe busy kutomasa,kupapasa na
kushikashika sehemu zote zitakazoongeza Raha na Utamu katika tendo.
FACE-OFF
How ?.
He sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face him, seated on his lap.
Benefit
You’re in control of the angle and depth of the entry and thrust. Being seated provides support, so it’s great for marathon sex.
Bonus
Let your fingers (and hands) to the
talking. Once seated, you can put your hands anywhere on your body or
his to make things more interesting.
NO MORE LOVE; 3;SIGNS TO PROVE ITS OVER
One of the best examples of this change can be found in our relationships. Relationships have seasons: happiness, sadness, joy, and pain. As a spiritual adviser, I see so many people suffering in relationships — couples dealing with losing their spark, fighting, sex issues. The list seems never to end. And in many ways, pain in relationships is inevitable.
What do I mean by that? Well, whenever we enter into an intimate relationship, we invest time, energy, emotions, and a lot more. So when things start to get hard, things will feel painful. Our minds tend to start holding onto judgments, assumptions and other stories.
But the secret to a successful relationship is not always in holding on, even if, as I said, pain is inevitable. Sometimes it’s the power of letting go that makes it successful. And by "letting go," I don’t always mean breaking up, getting divorced, or walking away from a relationship. Letting go here refers to resolving your problems from their roots, being open, honest, and vulnerable with your partner. And after you do that, you may both realize that you’ve changed as people, and it’s time to release each other from your bond.
Here are three signs it may be time to start re-evaluating your relationship. Sure, these warnings may always be present in your relationship to some degree, and in many situations, they mark a very temporary phase. However, when these symptoms start to overwhelm you or become impossible to ignore, it’s time to start really thinking critically about your relationship ...
1. Anger becomes a frequent emotion.
In the beginning of your relationship, there is passion, romance, laughter, and friendship. Yet at some point, anger, frustration, disappointment (or any variation thereof) makes its silent entry into the dynamic. And often, we don’t really know when that shift happens: when the "honeymoon phase" comes to a close and real life starts to settle in.
In most cases, the shift is so gradual that it kind of leaves us dumbfounded when we start to think about why and when it happened. It can feel as if all of a sudden, there are more arguments and resentments in our relationship than there are hugs and laughter. If this is the case, anger is a symptom of a bigger problem. Treat it from its roots. Talk about the reality of the situation with your partner. If you can withstand the discomfort of the conversation and support each other through the mutual difficulty, then the anger may not be as much of a problem as you thought. In any case, treat anger from its roots, because suppressing it will only make it worse.
2. You no longer feel valued.
You are a unique person. If someone wants you in their life, they will create the space for you. You shouldn't have to fight for it, rationalize why you matter or why you are worth someone else's time, flaws and all. In fact, your partner must understand and appreciate you beyond your flaws. You are not your mistakes. You have evolved with time, so the relationship has to evolve too. Valuing your loved one unconditionally is a great booster of self-esteem and respect. Feeling valued in a relationship is a nonnegotiable, plain and simple. You need to be able to feel authentic, and honored for your authenticity, by the person that you love.
3. Sex becomes nothing but a way to cure boredom.
Sex can happen without love, and love can happily survive without sex, too. In this sense, you shouldn’t glorify the importance of sex in a relationship (even though many of us tend to do this, and often end up sabotaging our sex lives by worrying so much!).
But there are moments when sex is the best way to express love. However, there are also moments when sex becomes a tool to cure the boredom or other problems in relationships. Boredom, resentment, guilt and other unpleasant sensations don’t happen in relationships because you stopped having sex. Hence, these issues won't be resolved if you start having it. You have to dig deeper and decode the cause of boredom in your relationship. Once you find it,
Any of these signs are worth discussing with your partner, and that exercise may be a way to assess the health of your relationship. Above all, trust your intuition, because you are more than your feelings of suffering, and you can (and will) rise above it.
BENEFITS OF USING SEX TOYS WOMAN MUST READ THIS
The Pillow Driver
Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her bod
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Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her bod
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
The Pillow Driver
Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her bod
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her bod
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
efits: Offers a natural bridge to more creative positions.
She lies on her back, and raises her right leg so you can position yourself between her legs at a 90-degree angle and enter. Her legs will form the tines of a spork, a
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-wome
She lies on her back, and raises her right leg so you can position yourself between her legs at a 90-degree angle and enter. Her legs will form the tines of a spork, a
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-wome
a.k.a. Spoon and Fork Combo, Scissoring
Benefits: Offers a natural bridge to more creative positions.
She lies on her back, and raises her right leg so you can position yourself between her legs at a 90-degree angle and enter. Her legs will form the tines of a spork, a spoon-and-fork utensil. She can do this with you facing her or facing her back.
Now try this: If she’s limber, lift her left leg up to increase the depth of penetration.
Hot Tip — Hers
From the Spork position, have her lift her top leg and support it by resting it on your shoulder. From here, she can easily stimulate her clitoris using her fingers while you’re inside her.
a.k.a. Bottom’s Up
Benefits: She gets a prime view of your derriere.
This is challenging: She lies on her back while you straddle her facing away. She lifts her legs and wraps them around your back to elevate her pelvis so you can enter. She then grabs your butt to help you slide up and back. She can add a little massage action to her grip also.
Hot Tip — His
Spin around into missionary style to face her while trying to stay inserted. Then switch positions, this time with her on top and facing away.
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
Benefits: Offers a natural bridge to more creative positions.
She lies on her back, and raises her right leg so you can position yourself between her legs at a 90-degree angle and enter. Her legs will form the tines of a spork, a spoon-and-fork utensil. She can do this with you facing her or facing her back.
Now try this: If she’s limber, lift her left leg up to increase the depth of penetration.
Hot Tip — Hers
From the Spork position, have her lift her top leg and support it by resting it on your shoulder. From here, she can easily stimulate her clitoris using her fingers while you’re inside her.
Snow Angel
a.k.a. Bottom’s Up
Benefits: She gets a prime view of your derriere.
This is challenging: She lies on her back while you straddle her facing away. She lifts her legs and wraps them around your back to elevate her pelvis so you can enter. She then grabs your butt to help you slide up and back. She can add a little massage action to her grip also.
Hot Tip — His
Spin around into missionary style to face her while trying to stay inserted. Then switch positions, this time with her on top and facing away.
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Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
a.k.a. Spoon and Fork Combo, Scissoring
Benefits: Offers a natural bridge to more creative positions.
She lies on her back, and raises her right leg so you can position yourself between her legs at a 90-degree angle and enter. Her legs will form the tines of a spork, a spoon-and-fork utensil. She can do this with you facing her or facing her back.
Now try this: If she’s limber, lift her left leg up to increase the depth of penetration.
Hot Tip — Hers
From the Spork position, have her lift her top leg and support it by resting it on your shoulder. From here, she can easily stimulate her clitoris using her fingers while you’re inside her.
a.k.a. Bottom’s Up
Benefits: She gets a prime view of your derriere.
This is challenging: She lies on her back while you straddle her facing away. She lifts her legs and wraps them around your back to elevate her pelvis so you can enter. She then grabs your butt to help you slide up and back. She can add a little massage action to her grip also.
Hot Tip — His
Spin around into missionary style to face her while trying to stay inserted. Then switch positions, this time with her on top and facing away.
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
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The summer I turned 19, my three best friends and I went shopping together — for vibrators. We marched into Good Vibrations, a giggling mismatch (two of us virgins, two of us considering ourselves quite experienced lovers), and inched around the store in a titillated knot, unable to separate from one another. After ten minutes of deliberation, we bought matching wand-like vibrators that came in the same color as the newly-minted Apple desktops our parents had bought us for school. There is something comforting in familiarity, after a
Benefits: Offers a natural bridge to more creative positions.
She lies on her back, and raises her right leg so you can position yourself between her legs at a 90-degree angle and enter. Her legs will form the tines of a spork, a spoon-and-fork utensil. She can do this with you facing her or facing her back.
Now try this: If she’s limber, lift her left leg up to increase the depth of penetration.
Hot Tip — Hers
From the Spork position, have her lift her top leg and support it by resting it on your shoulder. From here, she can easily stimulate her clitoris using her fingers while you’re inside her.
Snow Angel
a.k.a. Bottom’s Up
Benefits: She gets a prime view of your derriere.
This is challenging: She lies on her back while you straddle her facing away. She lifts her legs and wraps them around your back to elevate her pelvis so you can enter. She then grabs your butt to help you slide up and back. She can add a little massage action to her grip also.
Hot Tip — His
Spin around into missionary style to face her while trying to stay inserted. Then switch positions, this time with her on top and facing away.
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
The summer I turned 19, my three best friends and I went shopping together — for vibrators. We marched into Good Vibrations, a giggling mismatch (two of us virgins, two of us considering ourselves quite experienced lovers), and inched around the store in a titillated knot, unable to separate from one another. After ten minutes of deliberation, we bought matching wand-like vibrators that came in the same color as the newly-minted Apple desktops our parents had bought us for school. There is something comforting in familiarity, after a
- The summer I turned 19, my three best friends and I went shopping together — for vibrators. We marched into Good Vibrations, a giggling mismatch (two of us virgins, two of us considering ourselves quite experienced lovers), and inched around the store in a titillated knot, unable to separate from one another. After ten minutes of deliberation, we bought matching wand-like vibrators that came in the same color as the newly-minted Apple desktops our parents had bouThe summer I turned 19, my three best friends and I went shopping together — for vibrators. We marched into Good Vibrations, a giggling mismatch (two of us virgins, two of us considering ourselves quite experienced lovers), and inched around the store in a titillated knot, unable to separate from one another. After ten minutes of deliberation, we bought matching wand-like vibrators that came in the same color as the newly-minted Apple desktops our parents had bought us for school. There is something comforting in familiarity, after all.ght us for school. There iThe summer I turned 19, my three best friends and I went shopping together — for vibrators. We marched into Good Vibrations, a giggling mismatch (two of us virgins, two of us considering ourselves quite experienced lovers), and inched around the store in a titillated knot, unable to separate from one another. After ten minutes of deliberation, we bought matching wand-like vibrators that came in the same color as the newly-minted Apple desktops our parents had bought us for school. There is something comforting in familiarity, after all.s something comforting in familiarity, after all.
- I rolled mine in a sock and stuffed it in a drawer. I only took it
out to stare at it on occasion, when I was alone. I never even used it.
As proud as we’d been the day we acquired those magic wands — Here we are, taking charge of our sexuality and pleasure! — We never spoke of that trip again. It wasn't until I started working for O'actually, a company aimed to disrupt conventional thinking about female pleasure, that I asked myself why.
Even in my line of work, sex toys are often discussed in whispered tones, with a subtext of embarrassment. Many women are afraid to admit they use one. Very few of those women would ever even consider admitting they enjoyed it.
The Sex Toy Stigma
Though male masturbation is common enough to have a whole slew of slang terms associated with it, female masturbation is rarely discussed, let alone anointed with slang. Along the same lines, sex toys for women, are even more taboo. We're taught from a young age that it’s dirty and wrong to use sex toys.
Even without the cultural stigma, there's the issue of how a partner will respond. Many men take the suggestion or even the mention of a sex toy as an indictment on their virility, and respond defensively. (Not the right move, guys.) But there are more reasons than I can count that women (and their partners) should be embracing sex toys as tools. Here are just a few of the ways they can help you have a better sex life.
1. They improve communication.
Not only can sex toys can be a really fun addition to already-great sex, but they actually help couples deal with the number one problem most face: communication. Due in large part to the destructive stigma surrounding sex in general, communicating about what we want and need in that area can be really difficult. Bringing a sex toy into bed is a fun way to practice this skill. If you want to find a mutually arousing way to use it, you'll have to communicate, right?
2. They're good for both physical and emotional health.
The vibrator was actually invented as a medical tool. It was a therapy used to stave off female “hysteria" — a term doctors applied to depression, anxiety, or, you know, emotions in general. Before the vibrator, doctors actually had to provide clitoral stimulation by hand. Eventually, one of 'em got pretty tired and invented the first vibrator. The mental, emotional, and physical benefits of masturbating haven't changed at all.
3. They make awesome sex better.
Most people are under the (false) assumption that if you’re using a sex toy, it means your sex life sucks. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. One recent study actually found that women who use sex toys report higher than average sexual satisfaction and ability to orgasm. According to the Kinsey Institute, women who use vibrators also have higher levels of desire and lubrication.
4. They empower you to discover and master your own pleasure.
Unless you know exactly what you love in bed, getting off can be more challenging than making a perfect cappuccino. For women, a sex toy is an awesome means to discover exactly what it takes to have a mind-blowing, toe-curling, finger-clenching orgasm. And that’s the sort of information you can take to your partner, so they can get you there next time.
Update: I don’t keep my vibrator in a sock anymore.
a.k.a. The Pillow Driver
Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her body.
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Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her body.
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
a.k.a. The Pillow Driver
Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her body.
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her body.
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
a.k.a. The Pillow Driver
Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her body.
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise.
Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a pushup position, you take your weight off her body.
Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Men's Health misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email tellMH@media24.com to buy additional rights.
Article link - http://www.mh.co.za/sex-women/pleasure/
HOW MY VIRGINITY WAS REMOVED; ITS HURT BUT HAPPY read
Prepare yourself: some of these stories are awkward, cringe-worthy, and hilarious.
Should have googled "how to give a hand job" first.
"I wasn't ready but got lost in the moment. It was unexpected so there was no condom. Luckily, there weren't horrible repercussions, but there so easily could have been. If I could go back, I'd tell my 15-year-old self to slow down, be patient, google 'how to give a hand job,' and never ever ever risk unprotected sex! I also think sex-ed did a disservice to my generation by harping on abstinence and not discussing other ways to pleasure your partner (that are not sex)."So that's what happens at "church."
"I lost my virginity in the trunk of a car while my parents thought I was at church. #sorrynotsorry"Maybe finding a guy on the Internet isn't the way to go.
"I was in college about to celebrate my 19th birthday and I had experienced none of my firsts. No first date, no first kiss, no first blow job . . . So I took to the Internet to find a guy who was down to pop a virgin's cherry. It was a painstaking process with lots of chatting to find someone who I was sure didn't intend to lock me in a closet the second I got into his house. And I found one. We kissed on the beach at sunset like it was out of a fairy tale (except for the garlic breath). When we got back to his place, I was so excited for some mind-blowing sex. And it was . . . so boring. I just kept thinking, "That's it?" Thank goodness I've had much better sex since!"C-list actor's son, check!
"He was two years younger than me but more experienced. It was the Summer after high school, and I didn't want to start college as a virgin. We had spent most of the Summer hanging out, and although we weren't dating, I felt supercomfortable with him and was really just ready. It happened in my parents' guesthouse, and I didn't mention the whole virgin thing until we were in bed naked — whoops! It was sweet and fun with no emotional attachment, just the way I wanted it. That's not how everyone would have gone about cashing in the ole V card, but it was perfect for me. Bonus: his dad is a somewhat well-known C-list actor, so now I've got a great story whenever people ask."He was worth the wait.
"My first time was after my first official date with my future spouse. We had been hanging out (and making out) for a few months, but this was the night we made it official . . . in more ways than one. I should add that I was a late bloomer: I was 22. But it was worth the wait and not that bad for the first time! Plus, we've since had plenty more times to practice!"Source: HBO
He was sweet, drove a Porsche, AND had an accent.
"Basically I felt like I was getting to be too old to still be a virgin. So when I was 24, I decided to go for it with a cute guy with an accent who drove a Porsche and did amazing things with his mouth. It wasn't a great sexual experience, but he was really sweet."An intoxicated blur.
"I wish I could say it was magical and fireworks, rose petals, or candles were involved; but in reality, I was pretty drunk and decided that I just was ready. I had been dating this guy for a couple of months and knew that I wanted to lose my virginity with him. Although it was kind of a blurry intoxicated mess, I'm so glad it was with him. He's still my current boyfriend and now we just laugh about that entire night."Class act.
"back. seat. of. a. car. classy."Sometimes it hurts.
"Nobody told me I'd see stars . . . My high school boyfriend and I couldn't fool around on my bed, because it was visible through the window, so we were on my really tacky star-print black carpet that I had picked out when I was 10. It hurt really bad, too, so I started crying about a second into it. He was totally nice about it, but I definitely don't look back on the experience fondly."Mentioning his mom after doing the deed is so not sexy.
"My story starts off really cliché. It was freshman year of college. My BF at the time and I were both virgins. We'd been together for a while, talked about it, and decided we were ready. Clearly we weren't . . . When we were finished and cuddling, I saw he had this look on his face and asked what was wrong. He said, 'We shouldn't have done that. My mom will kill me if she finds out.' Because clearly lying naked in bed is the best time to bring up your mother?! Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long after that . . . "20 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT BREAST{BOOKS}
- A lot goes into the anatomy of a breast. Female breasts are made of fat, nerves, veins, arteries, breast tissue, and connective tissue.
- There are eight different kinds of nipples. There's flat, "normal," puffy, inverted, and more.
- Six percent of people have an extra nipple. Not that common, but not totally uncommon.
- Nipplegasms are a thing. Oxytocin is released when nipples are stimulated, which is what causes vaginal orgasms.
- The world's largest bra size is 102ZZZ. As seen on TLC's Strange Sex.
- Your left is probably bigger than your right. Even if you can't tell, your left boob is probably slightly bigger than your right, which is the norm for most women. Even Jennifer Lawrence admits her boobs are uneven!
- Nipple hair is normal. If you have it, you're not alone, and it's nothing to worry about.
- One in eight women will eventually be diagnosed with breast cancer. There are 10 things every woman can do to help prevent it.
- Your boobs typically grow for two to four more years after you get your first period. Your mosquito bites really did grow, even when you thought they wouldn't.
- The size changes every month. You're not imagining a fuller bra. Your hormones change during your period and ovulation, which can cause bigger (and achey) breasts.
- Smoking cigarettes can cause sagging. Yikes! A University of Kentucky study found that "smoking breaks down a protein in the skin called elastin, which gives youthful skin its elastic appearance and supports the breast."
- The average bra size in the US is 34DD. Thirty years ago, it was 34B, but it's grown because of "better education on bra fit, breast augmentation, and obesity."
- Nipples can get darker during pregnancy. Thanks to, again, hormones.
- Almost five percent of American women have fake boobs. Also, the number of implants created since 1997 could fill an Olympic-size swimming pool. Weird visual, right?
- Men have nipples because all humans start out as a generic embryo. In the earliest stages of development, embryos follow a "female blueprint."
- There's a name for the small bumps on your areola. They're called Montgomery glands, and they produce a "natural oil that cleans, lubricates, and protects the nipple during pregnancy and breastfeeding."
- Every nipple has 15 to 20 openings for breast milk to come out of. Whoa. These openings are called lobes, and each lobe has 20 to 40 lobules, which have milk ducts attached to them.
- The nipple and areola are heavily pigmented, which is why they are darker than the rest of the breast.
- Sleeping facedown can affect the shape over time. Sad but true.
- Nothing makes your boobs happier than taking off your bra at the end of a long day. According to a scientific survey of thousands of boobs, this is 100 percent true.
BEST WAY TO SHINE YOU TEETH..HERE TIPS read
Coconut oil
Coconut oil has a thousand and one benefits. It’s one of the few products one can use in the mouth and on skin and hair. One of its many functions is as a mouthwash of sorts.Swirling about 15ml (a tablespoon) of coconut oil around in your mouth for about 15 minutes will extract most bacteria stuck in the mouth. It also acts as a lubricant for the teeth, preventing stains from sticking, which hinders plaque from forming and causing cavities. This is a traditional Indian method of whitening your teeth.
An apple a day
It should be quite obvious that staying away from pigmented fruit and vegetables such as beetroot and blueberries (if only for the sake of your teeth), will help keep your teeth white. Apples and strawberries, on the other hand, are great for your teeth. These fruits contain malic acid, which is a natural tooth cleanser. So, while an apple a day might not always keep the doctor away, it will definitely keep yellow teeth at bay.Calcium, calcium, calcium
Did you know that tooth enamel is the hardest substance in your body – harder than bone. And while calcium is great for your bones, it’s also just as good for your teeth. Calcium, found in milk and cheese, will strenghten tooth structure and enamel.Cheese takes it a bit further and acts as a sort of polish for your teeth. The surface of cheese has a cleansing structure and the harder the cheese the more effective the polish.
Salt
Sometimes natural is the best way to go. If you’ve never been particularly fond of the sometimes-burning nature of your mouthwash, make your own with warm water and salt. Mix about 5ml (one teaspoon) of salt in a glass of lukewarm water, then gargle and spit.Salt is a natural antibacterial, attacking bacteria cell walls, and it’s also good for your gums and teeth.
Charcoal
Charcoal is being used in an increasing number of grooming products, and while this may not be the most conventional of methods to whiten teeth, it’s very effective. You will need activated charcoal powder, which you can buy for R46,35 from Nutrilife-sa.com, and your toothbrush. Wet your toothbrush and dip it into the activated charcoal powder, and then quickly put the toothbrush into your mouth (trying as hard as you can not to make a mess). Brush gently for about two minutes, then spit and rinse as you normally would. It won’t be long before you see a notable difference in the colour of your teeth.Sources: Fashion Beans, Wellness Mama, Nutrilife SA
BEST FOOD THAT WILL HELP YOU LOOKING GREAT
Chocolate
We’re not talking about highly-sweetened, cheap chocolate bars, but rather high-quality unsweetened chocolate that’s at least 70% cocoa. Cocoa has powerful skin-hydrating powers that through continued use can bring a healthy glow to your skin. Cocoa flavanols, antioxidants found in cocoa, are very good for your skin.
Greek yoghurt
Greek yoghurt is great for preventing wrinkles. Dairy products in general help make skin firmer and also help to fight acne. The acidic nature of and probiotics found in Greek yoghurt attack acne-causing bacteria and reduce skin inflammation. The benefits of eating a serving of Greek yoghurt a day will soon show on your face
Peppers
Studies have found that people who eat green and yellow vegetables have fewer wrinkles than those who don’t. Red and yellow peppers are high in antioxidants called carotenoids, which decrease the skin’s sensitivity to the sun.
Green tea
Green tea has multiple benefits, not only for your skin, but also for your health in general. Before you side-eye that colleague of yours who’s constantly refilling their cup of green tea, consider these facts:
- When used with sunscreen, green tea enhances sun protection.
- Green tea’s antioxidant and anti-inflammatory activities have been proven to slow down some signs of ageing.
- Green tea extract has a chemical called Methyxlanthines, which stimulates the skin’s micro-circulation, which evens out your skin tone, leaving you with a better complexion
Pomegranates
While many cultures see pomegranates as a symbol of prosperity, science sees them as a health booster, especially for your skin. Pomegranates have three times the levels of antioxidants of green tea, making them the best skincare food.
Regular consumption of pomegranates, in any form, will give you radiant skin, and they are often included in skincare products, especially those that fight ageing. Acne, dry skin, spots and hyper-pigmentation are just some of the conditions that pomegranates help prevent and fight.
Sources: Fitness Magazine, Smart Skincare, The Skincare Clinic, Multicultural Beauty
WHY CONDOM BREAK ON YOU DURING SEX????HERE ARE REASON WHY
Sometimes, condom fail to give the protection they are worn for – mostly due to the fault of the user.
Most often than not, it is as a result of improper
use (wearing) of the condom and , like Wha’anda has severally said, a
condom is 98% effective if used well and 0% effective if wrongly used.
It can be terrifying sometimes to find that the
condom you are wearing is broken and your sexual safety has been
compromised, with possible pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted
diseases (STDs).\
n the end, you stand to benefit more than your lover if you go oral on her.
Have you ever had a condom break on you? It’s
terrifying. The good news is that it is avoidable in the future, as long
as you learned why it happened.
Condom bursting, tearing, breaking, ripping can because by a number of things:
1. Expired/wrongly stored
An expired condom or one that was stored in extreme
temperatures, left in wallets and places where pressure is applied to
it. It weakens and might tear
2. Air bubble in the condom
If you allow air bubble to remain when wearing the
condom, you might have a pressure point that will lead to a tear when
thrusting
3. Too tight
If the condom is too tight, it could tear during sex
4. Not lubricated
The condom’s material became dry and hot because not enough additional lubricant was added;
5. Oil-based lube
If you use improvised oil-based lubricant like
Vaseline or other petroleum jelly, you could weaken the condom leading
to a leak/tear
6. Wrongly opened
If you opened condom with your teeth, scissors, or a
knife you can compromise the integrity and rip it. when you attempt sex,
it is likely to tear further
7. Hairy vaginal/Penis area
During sex involving hairy pubic region, there is the
possibility that hair strands are pushed in and the continuous friction
can tear the condom
8. Newly shaved vagina
Hair on a newly shaved vagina is prickly and sharp. It can tear the condom at the slightest contact
9. Lack of space at the tip of a condom
When wearing a condom, you need to leave a little
space at the tip. If this is not done, it could tear, especially during
ejaculation
MOST PARTY EVERY WOMEN WANT HER MEN TO FOCUS MOSTLY AT BED
All men want to be the master of their partner’s pleasure, we know this
to be true. Unfortunately there’s no “One Size Fits All” formula for how
to please each individual woman, and you can’t always count on your new
sex partner to be able to communicate her desires early on. So what’s
an eager-to-please man to do if he wants a surefire way to rock any
partner’s world?
It doesn’t matter how hot your go-to moves are. If you’re doing the same things in bed time after time, things are bound to become a little stale. That’s why you need to mix things up and surprise your partner with more adventurous tricks and new paths to pleasure. If you can not only discover her hot spots, but also introduce her to hotter ones she didn’t know she had, you can almost guarantee a return customer, or at the very least, a standing O.
Lucky for you, these hotbeds for erotic activity (also known as erogenous zones) are located all across the female body and are surprisingly easy to pleasure. So turn on some sensual music, light a few aromatherapy candles, and settle in — It’s time to go exploring!
From her head all the way to her toes, here are 10 of the top erogenous zones to turn her on:
Her Head
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a scalp massage and felt those warm fuzzy tingles from head to toe? That’s because the skin on the top of your head is loaded with nerves that are extremely sensitive to the touch. Stimulating the scalp in the right way releases a flood of feel-good hormones like serotonin and oxytocin. It also increases blood flow, not just to her brain (the largest sex organ, remember?) but all over her body.Next time you and your partner are kissing or cuddling, open your fingers wide and run them slowly through her hair, lightly stroking her scalp with your fingertips. Start behind her ears, at the base of the head, and circulate to the front, kind of like you’re lathering shampoo into your hair. Scalp massages are both soothing and sensual: They help release tension, and get her in the mood for other stimulating activities.
Her Ears
Although ears contain a ton of tiny nerve endings that send pleasurable responses to the brain, they receive very little attention in their day to day; this makes them an even hotter spot to stimulate during sexy time. Still, not everyone is comfortable with full tongue-to-ear penetration so the trick is to start off start off slowly and work your way up to more full ear contact.Start by lightly tracing the C-shaped outline of your partner’s ear with your fingertips or with your tongue. Gently kiss her earlobe or hold it lightly in your mouth and massage it with your lips. If she seems okay with this, you can take it as a green light to start to nibble or suck on the lobe. Once you become more comfortable with the landscape, try combining all of these moves together and every once and while, work your tongue into the center of her ear for a surprising but pleasurable sensation.
Another great way to stimulate this spot is with sound! Never underestimate the power of a low moan or a sultry whisper sent directly (but softly) into her ear canal to drive her mad with desire.
Her Lips
Lips are the most exposed of all erogenous zones, and are packed with a ton of nerve endings (100 times more than our fingertips) that are sensitive to even the slightest touch. Stimulating them releases floods of feel-good hormones to our brains that affect our emotions, as well as our lady parts. That’s why kissing is such an essential act for couples. It enhances intimacy and helps partners connect, plus it just feels good.Lips can be best stimulated through kissing, obviously, but don’t be afraid to add a little variety to the way you’re pleasuring them! Your mouth should not be pressed up against hers like a dead fish. Use your lips, tongue and teeth to lick, nibble and caress her top and bottom lips. Every once in awhile, take a break from kissing to gently trace the outline of her lips with your thumb as you gaze into her eyes and catch your breath, before leaning in for more.
Her Neck
The neck is an area that is most sensitive to LIGHT sensations, and it’s also one of the sexiest places to touch, lick and kiss. Because the skin in this area is thin, it does not take a lot to make it feel good. Even the feeling of gentle breath on the nape of the neck can send shivers down a woman’s spine.This is a great erogenous zone to start stimulating, even before your partner is fully aroused. Try sweeping her hair up and planting gentle, warm kisses along the side of her neck, close to the place you would touch to check a pulse. The skin here is especially thin, meaning every sensation will be magnified. Then you can kiss your way up to her earlobe for a gentle nibble or two before going in for the full lip lock.
Her Nipples
Although men have been paying very special attention to nipple for years, it’s remarkable how few men know how to pleasure them to their full potential. Research shows that nipple stimulation is processed in the same region of the brain as touch to the clitoris and vagina, making it a key part of the holy trinity of female pleasure.While gently massaging your partner’s breast with one hand, use your fingers or tongue to lightly trace the area around the areola, before placing your open mouth on her nipple. Try using your lips to softly hold the nipple in your mouth and run your tongue back and forth over it; use your lips and tongue to massage the area, paying attention to her bodily cues to determine what she likes best.
Besides licking and sucking, you can also use a clitoral vibrator (Like theWe-Vibe Touch) on a low setting to lightly massage her nipples, as they are very sensitive to vibrations.
Her Lower Back
Whether it’s at the end of a long day, or just another Tuesday, no woman can resist the power of a sensual back massage. The back is riddled with muscles and nerves that respond positively to touch, and the small of the back is especially sensitive.Start off by gently rubbing and caressing her back, focusing most of your attention to the sacrum, which is the area of her lower back just above the tailbone that is rich with nerve endings. Then you can start massaging the area right above her buttocks, using your thumbs to knead either side of (but not directly over) her spine. This maneuver becomes especially hot with the addition of some luxurious massage oil, like the moisturizing oil from Emily & Tony aromatherapy massage candles.
This move will not only help to relax your partner, but also increase blood flow to her pelvic region and increase its sensitivity. Perfect for what comes next!
Her Abdomen
Many women hold a lot of insecurities about their midsection, but the fact is that the abdomen is an extremely erotic area that should not be ignored. A woman’s abdominal muscles are connected to her vagina, which is why some women can even orgasm simply from doing core exercises. When these muscles are lightly stimulated during foreplay, it causes them to contract in anticipation, which actually boosts arousal. Plus, that stretch of skin between the breasts and pubic mound is loaded with nerve endings, and it’s proximity to the genitals makes it that more more sensitive to the touch.With your partner straddling you, start slowly stroking your fingers up and down her stomach or across her lower abdomen (between her bellybutton and pubic mound) which will stimulate blood flow to her nether regions. Allow your strokes to get lower and lower, closer to her nether regions, then bring them back up. The anticipation will build arousal until she is begging you for more direct stimulation.
Her Clitoris
The clitoris is the only part of the human body that’s sole purpose is to provide pleasure. With 8,000 nerve endings packed in such a small little space, you’ve gotta respect that ratio!Every clitoris is a little different in terms of sensitivity; even light pressure from fingertips may be too much for some ladies, while others can take a lot more stimulation. Start off light: Use two fingertips to gently massage the clitoris. Try using a circular motion, or switch it up with some up and down movements as well. Experiment with different speeds and pressure to see what works best for the recipient. Remember, this is not a rub n’ tug kind of experience, so be gentle. And a little lubrication certainly doesn’t hurt.
You can also stimulate the clitoris with your mouth, or even bring a vibrator into the mix! The egg-shaped Mimi by Je Joue is the perfect sex toy for clitoral stimulation.
Her Inner Thighs
As anyone on the receiving end of a tickle fight will tell you, the inner thighs are ridiculously sensitive to all forms of touch. Along with the backs of her knees, the inner thighs are loaded with nerve endings and are often considered to be among the most sensitive parts of the body, so gentle touches and licks are most preferred.Next time you’re planning on going down on your partner, take a detour and show a little love to her inner thighs. Use gentle finger strokes and light licks to stimulate the skin there, as well as soft breaths against the slightly moist spots where your tongue has just been. You can even massage her thighs while your perform oral on her, which will stimulate the blood-flow to her genitals, making everything your mouth is doing feel that much better.
Her Feet
You don’t have to have a fetish to be able to show your partner’s feet a little love. Many are surprised to find that a foot stimulation can actually be a real turn on! This is because there are pressure points in your feet that are believed to trigger sexual arousal, or at the very least, help her de-stress after a hard day.Plop your partner’s feet into your lap and treat her (hopefully clean) tootsies to a sensual rub down. Start by massaging the pads of her feet, using your thumbs to rub upward in a circular motion. Repeat this kneading motion as you move slowly down the length of her foot, then move back up again all the way to the toes. Remember, this is not a strength competition, so ask her what type of pressure she prefers.
For more sex and relationship advice from Dr. Emily Morse, visitSexWithEmily.com and check out her bi-weekly podcast Sex With Emily.
